The famous Mathias blog

LLANGAFF
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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Wed Jun 06, 2018 10:46 pm

Thank you Scuffer for providing a potted report on last night's Super League match at the Happy Valley Nou Camp, whilst the Old Bowls Codger was out with three of his one-time harem from his days working for the Anglesey County Council, at the "Tavern in the Bay" Restaurant in Red Wharf Bay. And the Codger, with 30 somethings, Jenny (Harem number 3), Vicki ( Harem number 8) and Bethan ( Harem number 11) had a lovely three courser and chat, although my T shirt embossed with "Warning. He may start talking about cricket", did have them initially heading to the toilets to powder their noses. The maitre de also lost the chance of a big tip, when he addressed me with the comment "Grandad treating his three Granddaughters is he ???". Cheek !!

Not a bad result then at the Nou Camp 7/3 for the Cocklers. Good wins for the Sea Captain against Sir Kenton, Boss Man Stu against "Cutie Carlo", Stanley the Younger against the Wee Man, Dafydd ( the Honda Hornet) against "Love my Sun Tan" Jane and of course nephew Prince Charming, who apparently won an epic match against my "new mate" Scuffer 21/20.

Mind you did think that Selectrical Hefin would have had the measure of "King of the Rollies" Ger, and that Happy Harris and Timber Man Ryan had the ability to take out "Mutineer" Christian ( I know your young Christian) but the penny will drop eventually), and Bryn the "Multi Dad" respectively. But apparently all three bowled superbly and deserved their wins, even though Happy did an arm waving tantrum when one of the "Young Mutineers" woods counted after sticking in the long green side grass. Oooh errrr not again !!!

So sorry I missed you Scuffer, but on the plus side think Jenny, Vicky and Bethan would have preferred having your brylcreem locks drooling over them rather than the Codger s balding scalp.

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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Wed Jun 06, 2018 11:26 pm

Well it was another scorcher today as the Old Bowls Codger, again wearing his very smart "Green Blazer", headed off in the Picasso, with the Clog Man to the Bryn Newydd Bowling Club in Prestatyn to watch the 2018 Welsh Veterans Merit Finals.

The Codger wasn't feeling 100 percent as was either suffering from a mild case of Sun Stroke or after visiting the Doc tomorrow to get the results of Tuesday's urine sample, possibly a urine infection. I know too much information. Sorry.

Anyway Past President Dusia Price had a wonderful day for her finals event. The 16 man field included five past Champions. Colin Evans ( 2012), Kevin Nicholas ( 2013), Graham Bennett ( 2014), John Bonatti (2015/2016) and Graham James ( 2017). Also nice to see that two other past Champions were at the event Ken Parry ( 2007) and Peter Lacey ( 2008).

The best matches of the first round saw the Little Italian beating Kev Nic 21/18 and Merfyn Jones beating Benno 21/16. In the Quarter Finals the Little Italian had another tough match before beating Graham James 21/14. And with Merfyn beating Dafydd Traws 21/14 in the top side of the draw it looked like a Jones v Bonatti final.

But like someone said don't underestimate the ability of the underdog. And so it was as Merfyn went down 21/20 to Squeaky Glyns nephew Geraint and with The Bateman beating the Little Italian 21/19, it was the final that everyone hadn't expected. Also noticeable that they were both past losing finalists, Trevor last year to Graham at the Argoed Bowling Club and Geraint against J B at Beaumaris in 2016.

Unfortunately it looked like it was, in the blistering heat, a game too far for the Bateman as he lost his edge in the final and lost 21/16.

So congratulations to Geraint Roberts on becoming the 2018 Welsh Veterans Julie Dawson Cup Champion and commiserations to Trevor Bate for again losing in the final.

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Glyn
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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by Glyn » Thu Jun 07, 2018 6:36 am

These late nights are no good to you as you get older :lol:
Not afraid to put my name up like some on here. I also have a Hard earned Green Blazer

LLANGAFF
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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Sat Jun 09, 2018 7:24 pm

It was another scorcher at the Happy Valley Nou Camp today for the visit of the Posh Club A team. Sea Captain Bailey was again struggling to field a full strength team as he was unable to call on the services of Paramedic Al, Selectrical Hefin, Boss Man Stu and nephew Prince Charming. And with B team captain Tricky Trev refusing to release Beggers, our only hope was that Bisto Dave would make it to the green in time to play.

The Codger chauffeured Nudey Nudey Artist Sheila to the Happy Valley Nou Camp but these days she sadly does test one's patience as she constantly demands a card to mark. At one point she reminded me of Father Jack from Father Ted but instead of demanding "whisky whisky" she was demanding " card, card".

Not a great result 5/5 in games and the aggregate level at 160/160.

The Sea Captain led from the front and after utilising a seldom used cross green mark he quickly put the handcuffs on "The Lawman" as he came in with a 21/5 win. Happy Harris also, after a bit of a stuttering start against Andy Pandy ( I know can't you just see him in those long blue and white P J's), came in with a 21/13 win. The last winner in the first four saw Two New Knees Al fighting back from 3/8 down against ex Chief Inspector Rog to win 21/10

The Posh Clubs only winner was their new 2018 top signing "Chambers" who beat Derek ( 83 and still got all his own hair) Stanley 21/12. Mind you "Chambers" was again taking on the mantle of King Louie from Jungle Book, with the line " now I'm the King of the Swingers" very apt as his head, arms and legs flew in all directions as his woods neared the jack.

But it was all downhill in the second four with defeats for the Codger,Stanley the Younger and Two Scoops Arfon. The Codger played Sir Ivor but after getting a two at the first end, was constantly for the rest of the match distracted by Ivor's little chunky calves poking out from his flannelette shorts and went down 21/10. The only good news was Beautiful Legs Timmy s 21/11 win against Probate Julie. Mind you Julie,in her pink Zinger short sleeved polo top did look as if she'd have had better luck taking on Charley Hull in an 18 hole match play match at Wentworth.

So 4/4 and with no sign of Bisto Dave,the Clog Man had to again reluctantly take to the green and play Jeavo and his red and white gob stoppers. Well as we all know Clogsi is not in the best of health these days and after reaching six points had to concede the match. The last match saw Tyre Man Gwyn taking on Court Usher Mark and at 11/16 down, he needed not only to win but also to run out for the team to share the aggregate. Getting the score was a bit difficult however as "Chambers" who I fear appeared to have a speech impediment halfway between a stutter and a lisp had difficulty saying 16 across when the Codger asked him the score. But then "as if by magic" that's what Gwyn did as by playing a long diagonal mark superbly he ran out 21/16. Well played Tyre Man.

Tricky Trevs B team were away at Holyhead Stena Liners green and went down 8/4 and 194/170 on the aggregate. Good wins for Robin ( 89 and still playing bowls) Davies, Little Danny, Beggers and Dave Taxi, who Tricky had somehow managed to prise away from the Bull Hotel Bar. Thommo was unlucky to draw Anglesey's former Number 1 Hywel Gray and went down 21/17. Ormi also lost his second match of the season as he went down 21/13 to little Davey Rossington.

So like I said not the best of days for th s A and B teams
Last edited by LLANGAFF on Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

LLANGAFF
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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Mon Jun 11, 2018 12:30 am

Late blog tonight from the Old Bowls Codger as have been engrossed watching "Demelza" in the new series of Poldark.

This afternoon's trip in the Picasso took the Codger and his "Green Blazer" with the Clog Man in tow to the Llandudno Oval to support the Welsh Junior team in their home leg match against the Warwick and Worcester Junior team. Nice to see that we had a couple of visiting dignitaries in attendance, namely John Crowther and Graham Jackson from the British CGBA.

Before the commencement of the match the Codger joined the Welsh girls and boys for the customary snap taken by the lovely Jeanette Higham, who is quickly getting the reputation of being the new Christina Broom in the Welsh Crown Green photographic circles. There was a fantastic crowd in support of the team with the Min y Donner contingent of Pretty Boy Danny, Daddy Graham, Stevie R and of course Top Plasterer Craig being the most boisterous in their support Blondi Ryan.

The green prepared superbly by green keeper "Spraguey" was pretty slick and fast running which made it very difficult for both sets of players to get consistency with their woods.

The final score saw the games level 6/6 but with Warwick and Worcester taking the aggregate 196/182 ( plus 15). The Man of the Match award for the Welsh team went to Ryan P Williams from Pen who won his match 21/5. The other winners were Richard Jones ( Penrhyn New Hall) 21/6, Hanna Williams - Jones ( Caernarfon) 21/18, Nia Jones ( Coed Talon) 21/15, and Finlay Hombrey ( From Park) 21/17. The last winner was Ieuan Pugh ( Esclusham) who not only won his match 21/10, but also won the Hugh Jackman award for being "The Greatest Showman" on the green.

News came through that the Welsh away team playing at the Kings Norton Bowling Club had lost 4/8 and 190/226 on the aggregate ( minus 36). So an overall minus 51 point aggregate loss for the Welsh Team against what was a very strong Warwick and Worcester Junior team.

The Old Bowls Codger at the end of the match donned his "Green Blazer" to congratulate both teams for playing some fantastic bowls on such a hard and tricky green. He also thanked Big John for doing his Jimmy Young bit on the mic, Dusia for selling the programmes and the raffle, the three referees ( apparently it's no longer politically correct to call them "measurers") and to Dafydd Orange and his team of helpers who put aside a great deal of their own personal time to coach the youngsters, many of whom, we must not forget, are fairly new to the game.

So after a quick munch on the refreshments and collecting my new Welsh CGBA fleece off Dusia, it was time to tuck the Clog Man back into the Picasso and head home to the Pensioner Bungalow to watch "Demelza"

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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Mon Jun 11, 2018 11:02 pm

The day started off on a sad note for the Old Bowls Codger as he, the Clog Man, Happy Harris, Two New Knees Al and nephew Prince Charming attended the funeral of "John Norman Short" at Bangor Crematorium today. It was especially nice to see that the Crematorium was not only full of friends and and family, but also a great number of local bowlers and many of the old Postmen who had worked with Norman during his many years of service at the old Bangor G.P.O and then the new Bangor Royal Mail Sorting Office. John gave the eulogy which was great a credit to his late father Norman. So deepest sympathies to Normans widow Francess and of course to John, his brother Phil, and their immediate families, from everyone connected with the Beaumaris Bowling Club.

Tonight the Beaumaris Monday Night team took on the Bangor "All Stars' at the Happy Valley Nou Camp. The Bangorites are this year making a concerted effort to take the title and with Bucko, Slinky Garry,Boss Man Stu, Selectrical Hefin and Dafydd Orange in their team, they certainly deserve the accolade of 'All Stars". The only person missing was Piers 007 Williams who, with his favourite Casey Jones cap, was enjoying an early Fathers Day present as an honorary tender stoker on the footplate of the Palmerston narrow gauge steam engine on the Ffestiniog Highland Railway. Oh the sight of Piers with his Casey Jones cap and his little blue overalls, with sweaty and soot covered face, shovelling the coal into the tender furnace must have been one to behold.

The Codger of course was playing his normal team and was realistically looking for one or two wins.

But after comparatively easy wins for Bucko,Slinky Garry and the Big Red Man, the Cocklers fortunes changed with first Bisto Dave taking out Dafydd Orange 21/16, and the Codger and partner Two Scoops Arfon winning the first doubles 21/7. Then things got unbelievably better when "Come By" Martin ( and yes he is an amateur sheep dog trialist ), took out "Super League" home greener Selectical Hefin 21/18 and then Derek ( 83 and still got all his own hair ) Stanley taking out another "Super League" home greener, Boss Man Stu 21/12. The final disaster for the Bangorites All Stars came when the second doubles team of Little Danny and ex Car Mechanic Edo, beat Dafydd Orange and partner The Big Red Man, who had to double up in the singles and the doubles, 21/16

So great and unexpected victory for the Cocklers Monday Night team. Well played lads with the victory closing the gap at the top of the table to three points on the All Stars and six points on the Llangefnites.

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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Wed Jun 13, 2018 12:12 am

Not the best of bowling days this afternoon for the Old Bowls Codger.

This afternoon Beggers' Veterans A team were taking on the Llandudnoites B team down at the Happy Valley Nou Camp. It ended up being a below par result with only a 7/2 win and 138/91 on the aggregate. With normal doubles partner Two Scoops Arfon on Grandad duty supporting his grandson playing football, the Codger paired up with Potteries Pat against the very, very aged Mr and Mrs Bladon. It ended up being a disaster with the Codger continually bowling three yards past the jack and Potteries Pat continually bowling three yards short of the jack. The result being a humiliating 17/21 defeat ugh. Worse followed with "new pensioner" Stanley the Younger going down 21/16 to Little Robin. But thankfully the rest of the team did their bit with Immaculately Dressed Dave leading the way with a 21/4 win before going on to celebrate with an extra large slice of a jam and cream Victoria Sponge .Mind you he didn't lighten the Codger s mood, as with jam and cream dripping off his lips, he continually chastised us for dropping valuable points against such mediocre opposition. Thanks for that Immaculate !!!!.

So after getting rid of my frustrations by watering the garden for an hour, the Codger headed off in the Picasso tonight with the Clog Man and Happy Harris for the first derby match of the Super League season between the Cocklers and the Pringlers at the Pringle Arena in P G.

Not a good result with the Cocklers losing 7 3 and 143/128 on the aggregate. To be fair Boothi Boys lads outplayed us on the bowling side but on the "dress code" side of play fell well short of accepted standards. Postman Gwil was wearing his fading brown green keepers trousers with a top that was better suited to be worn by an internee in Prison Break. Boothi Boy also had what looked like a twenty year old Chelsea hoodi as it was no longer royal blue in colour but more of a faded Eaton Blue. Bucko however did get the gold medal for the best inappropriate dress code as in his floppy shorts, he looked like he'd just undertaken a 5k run from Hirael to the Pringle Arena.

Our winners were Little John who beat Chezny 21/16. Chezny was not only playing with his tell tale red woods but was also wearing a newly grown ginger fuzz which gave him the look of one of those American Hillbillies who had just come back from brewing some illicit whiskey in the backwoods. Happy Harris played well to beat Black Ball Dion 21/13 and Sea Captain Keith was just as good on his way to beating Tesco Delivery Man Mei 21/9.

But that was a good as it got, as nephew Prince Charming went from 9/1 up against Boothi Boy to go behind 9/16 and then to lose 21/11. Boss Man Stu lost his first match of the season as he went down 21/14 to " I look good in shorts - Not" Bucko. Postman Gwil just out played Selectrical Hefin 21/18, although Hefin was suffering from a poorly leg and the after effects of verbal abuse he'd received from Bisto Dave last night at the Nou Camp as he went down to "Come By" Martin. The best game of the night, lasting over an hour saw Slinky Garry just beating Dafydd Orange 21/17.

The last winner for the Pringlers was "Postie" who is now back to the form of yesteryear as he played superbly to beat Piers 007 21/15. Mind you think John needs to upgrade his bowling shirt from an xxl to a xxxl as it looked at times that he was bowling in a blue straight jacket.

So well played the Pringlers deserved winners on the night and it was nice to see that both teams joined together after the match at the Penrhos for a pint and a plate full of sausage and chips. Unfortunately however Slinky Garry was restricted to one sausage and a blob of tomato sauce.

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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Fri Jun 15, 2018 5:45 pm

Well it was the Gwynedd Knockout Cup quarter finals last night. So after taking the Minutes at the Beaumaris Primary School Governors Meeting, the Old Bowls Codger zoomed down in the Picasso to the Happy Valley Nou Camp to see how Tricky Trev's B team were getting on against the Bethesdaites.

Tricky was without the Bobbi Dazzler,who was again on security duty at Tesco, and the Great Orm who was away wearing his black silk shirt and tie attending a friends funeral with wife Sexy Shorts Pat. So with Two New Knees Al not having played for the A team in the previous round, when they lost to the Conway Castlemen, Tricky drafted him into the home team and switched Bethesda green specialist Thommo into the away team.

Unfortunately things didn't go to plan as after Robin ( 89 and still playing bowls) Davies had won 21/9, Two New Knees Al went down 7/21 to Skinny Jeans Callum. Worse was to follow as Beggers lost 15/21 to Big Bones Bells and Bambi Fallow s went down 20/21 to Big Rich. So 1/3 down in games and minus 9 on the aggregate. So after getting home to the pensioner bungalow and reporting the home result to Immaculately Dressed Dave,Tricky rang me with the away result. After three games they were 2/1 up and four up in the aggregate, as Bisto Dave had won 21/20, Dough Man Ger had lost 20/21 and Tricky had beaten the Parc Villa "All Star", Dafydd Man U 21/17. But unfortunately Bethesda specialist Thommo wasn't as good as his "boasting" as he went down 7/21 to Tiger. So 2/2 in games and minus 10 on the aggregate. Overall plus 19 win for the Bethesdaites.

So in the semi finals Bethesda will now play the Llanfair Pringlers who beat the Criccieth Castlemen by 53 points on the overall aggregate.

In the other half of the draw the Rwsters beat the Conway Castlemen by 26 points on the overall aggregate. They were due to play the winners of the Bangor v Blaenau tie and after fielding a strong team at the Hirael Oval ( Little John, Timber Man Ryan,Bucko and Selectrical Hefin ) and winning by 32 points, they were confident of progressing to the semi finals. But news came through that the away team of Slinky Garry, Kev Beb, Dafydd Orange and Piers 007 had unbelievably lost by 42 points, which meant that the Slatemen had won by 10 points overall and would be playing the Rwsters in the semi final.

The Old Bowls Codger has just been down to Immaculately Dressed Dave's "Immaculate house" to do the draw for the Glyn Owen Trophy which, with the Slatemens win, means that it was a draw of seven teams ( Beaumaris A,Craig y Don, Llandrillo, Caernarfon, Penygroes, Penmaenmawr and Benllech). Won't steal Immaculates thunder and reveal the draw as he was busily typing out the draw for both competitions, with appropriate dates, to be sent to the Club Secretaries as I left.

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Glyn
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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by Glyn » Sat Jun 16, 2018 6:16 pm

With all the travelling you will have to do in your Piccaso with the Green Blazer I thought perhaps you would like to buy this Item to help you in and out of your Car and it is also handy in case you get too tired to undo your seat belt :D

Half price as it will not fit my modern car ;)
413nkPufeJL__AC_UL115_.jpg
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Not afraid to put my name up like some on here. I also have a Hard earned Green Blazer

LLANGAFF
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Re: The famous Mathias blog

Post by LLANGAFF » Sat Jun 16, 2018 9:41 pm

The Old Bowls Codger tonight must start by extending his sympathies to Sea Captain Bailey after today's 2/10 (129/193) loss at the Rwsters green. As not only was he as captain without four first team regulars in Two New Knees Al, Stanley the Younger, Beautiful Legs Timmy and Paramedic Al, but B team players Beggers and Thommo refused point blank to help him field a competitive team for what was already going to be a difficult away match. In the end Billie Bun and Keith's very young son Jac ensured that at least the Cocklers fielded a full team.

It is now regrettably clear that on Saturdays Beaumaris are no longer one club but are now two teams in opposition to eachother and as such sadly I personally believe that there will only be one Saturday team in Beaumaris next year and that will be the "B team" captained by Tricky Trev.

Anyway back to today's game. Must congratulate Happy Harris on his fantastic 21/14 win against Wales' "Number 1" John Boy, even though he had a little mid game tantrum when the Old Bowls Codger was slow in hobbling over to the end to see who was in. Also well played nephew Prince Charming who beat former Blaenau Slateman Al 21/11. Mind you Al with his new designer grey beard did have the look of George Clooney on the set of E R.

The Codger drew Smiley Michael who was soon beaming from ear to ear after giving me a 21/6 bowling lesson. As I've said before on the reverse fixture in September Smiley, brother "Just look at my pecs" Joey and a few friends are hoping to do a ten hour charity trek over the mountains to Beaumaris, so if I draw him then he may hopefully be too knackered to repeat today's performance.

Must finally mention the Sea Captains ( 8/9 year old ??) son Jac who courageously helped the team out today. Jac drew ex Dolgarrog Aluminium Smelter Kev and although it was a case of David v Goliath, young Jac did manage to throw a few good "slingshot" bowls before he went down 10/21 So big thanks Jac and shame on the Beaumaris B team players who refused to travel to Llanrwst.

In relation to the B team, well I will be short but definitely not "sweet". They beat Sunny Rhyl at the Happy Valley Nou Camp 10/0 and 210/104 on the aggregate with Little Danny being the best winner on 21/3.

So congratulations to Llanrwst on their win and who are now clearly strong title contenders with the Min y Donners. Also regrettably missed my pint off Smiley Michael after the match as we had to get home smartish because Billie Bun had a 6pm deadline to feed his birds ( the feathered variety not the ones he's got chained up in his cellar) I hasten to add. Only joking Billie

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